i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
