i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
