she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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