She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
