fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
