wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
