I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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