My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
