He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
