have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
