Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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