We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
