I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
