found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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