A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize