just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
