Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
