Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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