vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
