The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
