K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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