where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
