She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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