and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize