just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
