Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i drank out of a bidet.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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