After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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