The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
