dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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