I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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