yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
