woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
