I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
