so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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