I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
