how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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