I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
