just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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