I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Help. Why am I so naked?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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