Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize