I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
