I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
