We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
