Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
