I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
