He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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