Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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