If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
