Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
