I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
