this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
