i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
