my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I smell like Dick and happiness
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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