I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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