Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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