Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
