no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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