The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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