peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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