it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I came so hard my ears popped.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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